不知道从什么时候起，开始喜欢看香港的旧电影。常常在深夜，看那些有小雪花闪的屏幕，听那些用粤语慢慢讲过的对白。也不知从何时起，空暇时候对香港的记忆便溢满心房。就好像兰桂坊那些琥珀般流转的灯光，音乐响起，无问明天。我其实并不喜欢香港，那个港岛太小了，小到承载不了我想俯瞰辽阔山脉的梦想。喜欢那里或许真的只是一个借口。一个逃亡的借口。
借口。
我想起了《阿飞正传》中养母扔给张国荣文件时候说，好，现在我告诉你你的生母。这不过是你这些年来自甘堕落的借口，现在，我看你再来用什么借口。其实人们都只是靠借口在生存，比如以前受过伤害所以不再相信，以前失望过所以不在期望。这些借口的屏障掩盖了脆弱和不堪，说借口的人也许并非不清楚这不过是条逃遁生活的小路，却依旧选择让自己好过些，正如同向生活撒了一个娇。
可是，我们在等待谁来批准，谁来原谅，谁来宽恕呢。
—-2008-04-24 Kaolo
Orginial post
逃亡的借口。。不错。。我觉得我就像在预备着我从美国的逃亡，这个永远让我陌生的地方不让我再对她有任何欲望和寄托了。 偶尔每天在自己家门口附近随便拍几张照片就好，这样我也能满足了。没有多少的幻想和太多的希望， 就是梦再怎么破碎，也不会让自己心碎。实际上，一个人这样让自己克制下去，并没有什么需要活下去的意义。废话不多说了.
someone asked me this from facebook
yo hui, im curious if you are pro china or pro tibet being that you were born from china yourself…just wondering what are your thoughts. you know in sf today there were many protestors blocking the olympics torch run and many pro china and pro tibet people clashed in the streets. that got me to thinking. i would love to see a free Tibet, of course.
my thoughts?
good question, i was going to blog this as a lot of issues has risen, but one thing i want to point out, Shame on those who are protesting for Tibet freedom, but yet to bank on their emotion by attacking/altering the olympics torch run. the Olympics isn’t about the human rights in china, its sure not about tibet freedom either. but an international sports events where countries from around the world to join and share the love of sports regardless their race, their background and their religion beliefs. so say, olympics is hosted in Greece, because china is going backward with their human rights issue, should olympics ban them from participating the event? they sure didn’t.
with the uproar of this chain of events, i was torn between china’s ground and tibetan people. tibet has a place in my heart where it’s sacred for me. and yet i was born and raised in china. i cant really stand on anyone’s side to say, “hey! im supporting you guys!”
also, people need to be clear on what they are reading lately, it does upset me where major news media like CNN and BBC altering the news report on riot in tibet not long ago. truly pissed me off, u know I’m not easily get upset with some things.
for your reference, check here
http://home.wangjianshuo.com/archives/20080409_error_in_western_media_report_about_tibet.htm
here
http://shanghaiist.com/2008/03/23/tibet_press_freedom_nancy_pelosi.php
and here
http://shanghaiist.com/2008/03/17/tibet_riots.php
this is the best one!
http://avpress.com/n/10/0410_s15.hts
a lot of readings 
but to china’s own fault for not letting the reports to be at the riot first place, and letting the western media running their imagination wild by borrowing photos, making up false accusation, since they think.. ” what we assumed couldn’t be that far off from the actual event. right?”
oh wells..
and those are my thoughts
sometimes i wonder, what is it that leads me to paint? is it the mind, or it’s the heart? or it’s just pure feelings that leads me. i know i can make stuff looks too abstract for most, but this is what i see, and how i feel. nothing realistic would make sense to me, then there comes pencil and paper for the draft, where’s the fun in that?
Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows, only time?
And who can say if your love grows,
As your hearth chose, only time?
Who can say why your heart sights,
As your live flies, only time?
And who can say why your heart cries
when your love lies, only time?
Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be ,in your heart?
and who can say when the day sleeps,
and the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart…..
Who can say if your love groves,
As your heart chose, only time?
And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time?
-Enya – Only Time
I was never a big fan for working in a environment where i have to use shiny hard shoes, skimpy suites, and a tie to kill you slowly. sure the full dress me up game makes one looks good, but coding, designing, making a creative product is never going to work for me.
even thought the polaroid film price has goon skyrocked, yet i picked up this neat darling, Polaroid SX-70 foldable true SLR of it’s own kind. more pictures coming soon. time to hunt for those damn films..
Easily does it, she pulled it off with her unique style, ranging from eye punching rang of hues, dazzling wall of photos that cutted in half and sewed together, makes you think… have i seen that before ? memory flashes by you, like two mismatched photos that put together with or without intentions. the movie short has to be my fav, she put what her experienced, struggled into a short movie where you have missed captions/blank out voices. makes you wonder… will i able to survive like this?
this is how she sees it. go see it before the show ends, i ensure you will enjoy this visual hard candy like i did.
for more info, check here
http://michellemcauliffe.com/
» Continue Reading…
After a long consideration, sleepless nights, and i have finally decided.
Screw high paying job, screw my new car, screw the slumpy US economy, and screw Bush. I’m moving back to Shanghai and reactivate my Chinese citizenship as well.
Sorry that i have to leave on a such short notice, no ongoing go-away-fanfare drinks like how timmy did. ( he had 4 ? ) I’m sorry i didnt even get to know most of you well enough, and i’m sorry that i’ve been a bastard to you all lately, i do admit, i’m not a ‘good enough’ friend to you all. Last, but not least.. i admit, i’m just not deaf enough for the deaf community.
